Shadow Dance
by Blue-Kool-Aid
Summary: Damon, Stefan, & Elena are forced to finally confront their feelings for one another after an event changes their previous outlooks. This shadow dance attempts to develop a functioning relationship between the trio. D/S/E - heed warnings inside. R&R.
1. Denial

Title: Shadow Dance  
Rating: M (language, violence, incest, sexual situations)  
Pairings: Basically any combination you can make from Damon, Stefan, Elena, and Katherine. Mostly **Damon x Stefan x Elena**. You've been warned.  
Other warnings: Dark themes & **spoilers** up to and including season 2, which also means that after a new episode has aired, anything is fair game.

A/N: Hello, everyone! This is just a short, multi-chaptered fiction that I've been working on. I thought that I would post it and see how it does. I'll update weekly; maybe more often if I'm not too busy. For those of you reading _Push_, yes, I intend to finish it, but when I have more time!

In the meanwhile, please enjoy this and let me know what you think! :)

* * *

Shadow Dance  
Chapter I: Denial

I tried to kill the pain  
But only brought more  
I lay dying  
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal  
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming  
Am I too lost to be saved?  
Am I too lost?  
- Evanescence, "Tourniquet"

* * *

"Do you know how long I've waited to see you on your knees at my mercy, Damon Salvatore?"

I weakly lifted my head, blood steadily dripping from my mouth onto my tattered clothing. "Hmm," I began sarcastically, "perhaps from the moment you first laid eyes on me. I knew you wouldn't be able to resist my charms for long." I smirked, even though that particular facial expression aggravated the cuts on my face.

He kicked me in the ribs, causing me to gasp in pain. "You're a bit too much of a smart ass for my own personal liking," he snarled, eyes flashing at me.

Despite the throbbing from the kick, I found myself grinning. "Then maybe you should let me go, if you aren't as smitten with me as you thought you were."

Mason grinned back – but cruelly. "I know that if I have at least one of you, they'll all come flocking to your God damn rescue, and set my plan into motion to destroy all of you little blood-sucking mother-fuckers. Then the Lockwood family can once again run this town in peace and quiet without chaos and havoc at every turn."

"Is the Lockwood family capable of running _anything_? 'Cause let me tell you – the mayor, your fool of a brother – certainly didn't bring anything to Mystic Falls that it didn't already have. Except for maybe that smart-mouth douche-bag son of his." I smirked again, seeing his eyes light up with fury.

Mason bent down and pulled me straight up by the hair, gripping tightly, and then slammed my body into the cold stone wall. My chained hands scraped against the stone and I could feel the little cuts in my skin sting.

"You really don't have any self-control, do you, Salvatore?" he snarled, his face so close to mine that I could count the whiskers on his chin.

"Nope," I agreed. "If you wanted a quiet, complacent captive, you probably should have taken Stefan." I felt my eyes flash and my jaw clench. "But if you would have done that, I would have ripped you limb from limb in seconds, and you'd be lying in pieces in a werewolf graveyard right now."

Mason moved his head back and studied me, still keeping me pinned there. He yanked at my hair again, forcing me to look at him. "Sensitive about your brother, Damon?"

I didn't answer, but I didn't avert my gaze, either.

"Well, that's surprising. Considering from what I understand, he's the one who gets everything – praise, trust, understanding, and hmm...oh, yes. _Love_." Mason smirked at me and I felt my heart twist painfully for a moment.

I refused to give him any kind of satisfaction, so I just met his stare head-on, and said, "Those traits you just listed? They're seen as weaknesses in my world, so I'm quite happy without them. Thanks for coming out, though."

"I think I've touched a nerve." The bastard laughed and then grabbed me tightly under the arm and led me to a set of chains. He lifted my hands up from behind my back and over my head in the most painful way possible, and shackled me up. He adjusted the cuffs so that they were tighter than before. I could feel them cutting into my wrist, rubbing the skin raw.

"Now we wait," Mason said, leaning in close, lips nearly touching my ear. "In the meanwhile, we can play some games to pass the time."

He produced, from his belt loop, a long, thin knife. And then he smiled and drove it straight into my abdomen.


	2. Game

Shadow Dance  
Chapter II: Game  
_  
Here I'm pinned between darkness and light  
Bleached and blinded by these nights  
Where I'm tossing and tortured 'til dawn  
By you, visions of you then you're gone.  
_-From Autumn to Ashes, "Autumn's Monologue"

* * *

My frozen body shook as I recovered from another blackout. I opened my eyes, vision blurry. When it cleared in a minute or so, a wave of nausea rolled through me. I'd been stabbed at least twice and had multiple cuts. The smell of vervain was overpowering – I took brief note of the two empty syringes on the floor.

"That's the third time you've lost consciousness," Mason said. He was sitting in a chair across from me, legs crossed casually as he cleaned his knife of my blood. "I'm surprised you came back that time." He regarded me studiously for a moment, and then said, "I'll break you, yet, Damon. If they ever do rescue you, I want you to be an unrecognizable shell of a person you once were. Do you get my drift?" He grinned menacingly.

I grit my teeth and snarled at him.

He chuckled and uncrossed his legs, bracing his hands on his knees, feet flat on the floor. "Hmm, nice shirt, though what a perfectly good waste of a casual button-up. I don't think I've ever see you wear white before. Looks good on you – brings out your eyes." His mouth twitched upward into a smirk.

"Thought I'd dress sharp for the occasion," I hissed. My shirt was no longer white, though. It was dark red and growing steadily more so by the second.

He chuckled lightly. "You are quite the amusing captive, I must say. Despite your obvious flaws, I'll bet you're quite the charmer. I already know you like to push people to their limits – maybe just push them away in general. But, you know," he continued thoughtfully, "you'd probably make a good salesman."

"Hah," I said in response. It was hard to concentrate on his petty small talk. My body was in more pain than it had ever been in.

"You know, Damon, I'd like to get to know you better. I think we should play a question game." He rose, tapping the knife against his palm, sauntering slowly towards me. "I ask you a question, and you tell the truth. If I suspect you of being deceptive, I cut you. Understand?" He was so close now I could smell his cheap cologne.

This guy was even more psychotic than I had originally thought. "Sure," I agreed weakly. "Do I get to ask any questions?"

"Maybe if you behave." He caressed the safe side of the knife over my stomach. "How old were you when you lost your virginity?"

I snorted, despite the pain. "Of all the questions you can ask me, you ask me that?"

He dragged the knife along my right forearm, cutting the fabric of my shirt and piercing my skin. "Answer it."

"Twenty-three." I winced as blood began to seep from the cut.

Mason snorted this time. "Late bloomer, Damon? How old are you now?"

I felt my mouth twitch into a half smile. "Twenty-three. Things were different in that time. I was a southern gentleman. You didn't just go and fuck whenever you felt like it. I may have been a bit of a smart-ass, but I was virtuous and I had intended to save myself for marriage. Not that it's any of your business," I finished, scowling.

"But I'm sure you fucked Katherine whenever you felt like it," he stated casually, eyes searching my face.

I felt my features harden. I didn't answer him.

"You lost your virginity to Katherine, then? Well, that's a laugh. Considering from what I've been told – heard it through the grapevine, you know – that she fucked Saint Stefan first. Imagine, your pious, younger brother – he's what, seventeen? – losing his virginity before you."

I grit my teeth. The bastard was just trying to get into my head. "Stefan's seventeen," I confirmed, avoiding the other parts of his question.

Mason smirked, satisfied. "Good, Damon. You learn quickly how to play by the rules."

"That's funny, considering that I never play by the rules. Not really my thing, you know." I just wanted him to shut up so I could go to sleep and ease the throbbing in my head.

"Are you in love with Elena?" he asked suddenly.

I hesitated.

"Well?" he asked impatiently, flashing the knife in front of my face.

"Yes," I answered flatly. There was no point in lying about it. It seemed to be a well-known fact. Actually, everyone seemed to know it except for Elena herself.

"What about Katherine? Are you still in love with her?"

"Yes. I don't want to be," I added softly on the end.

Mason laughed. "Oh, that's priceless. You have more unrequited love than you know what to do with!"

I gnashed my teeth together.

"Tell, me, Damon, what's your relationship with Stefan?" Mason now circled me, almost in a predatory like stance. He did it a few times and then stopped and met my eyes dead on. I shivered.

"He's my brother," I answered slowly. I was greeted with the knife plunging through my back quickly, and then drawn out slowly. I cried out in pain, white dots dancing before my eyes.

"You and I both know that's the wrong answer," he breathed into my ear.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" I rasped. I felt the knife again and braced myself as it plunged through my body once more.

"I think you do. What did I tell you about lying?" Mason tsk-ed me. "But I suppose I'll let that one slide for now. Do you like sex, Damon?"

"As much as the next person," I answered carefully. I shivered. I didn't want to play his games but knew I would have to in order to stay alive.

"Good," he replied, grinning. He dropped his knife on the floor and stood directly in front of me.

"What are you doing?" I asked wearily.

Mason began to unbutton my bloody, tattered shirt, not saying anything. When he was finished, he pushed the fabric to either side, exposing my chest and stomach. Despite my wounds, he bent down and kissed me in the middle of my stomach, lapping at some of the blood there. "I don't really have a taste for blood, but yours is sickeningly sweet."

"You won't break me, Mason," I growled out for the second time.

"Are you sure about that?" He smiled widely, lips stained with my blood.


	3. Numb

Shadow Dance  
Chapter III: Numb

_I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say  
And you can't take back what you've taken away  
'cause I feel you, I feel you near me_  
-Plumb, "Damaged"

* * *

Mason had me on the floor now, having unshackled my hands. I was nearly paralyzed from the blood loss and the amount of vervain coursing through my system. His hips pressed painfully against mine, and I only knew one thing: that I couldn't give him any satisfaction. It would only feed his search for power, control, and domination.

"You really think your sexual tendencies scare me?" I spat out. I could taste my own blood on the corners of my mouth. He was kissing me, cutting me, touching me, and torturing me. The truth was, though, that every time his mouth collided with mine I felt a wave of fear roll through me. Fear and nausea.

His lips touched my neck, and he licked there for a few seconds, and then lowered his face back over mine. "They might in about five minutes, Damon." He gripped my arms tightly, simultaneously kissing my lips roughly. I bit back a whimper, trying to hold onto my resolve.

"I don't have to use mind tricks to get people into bed with me," he continued, nipping at my earlobe. He released one of my arms and picked up the blade, scratching it down my exposed stomach. I felt my muscles tense in pain. I was afraid to look at my body. He was making quite a mess of it and it wasn't healing as fast as it normally did.

I smiled at him sarcastically. "Maybe not, but you're sure willing to use physical torment, aren't you?" My head spun. For him, it didn't seem to matter if his victim was female or male. Dominance was how he got off.

Every muscle in my body was telling me to give up, but I couldn't. I couldn't let him lead my friends and family into this trap. Is this what it took for me to realize what was truly important in life? If he so much as touched one hair on their heads...

I shivered. I didn't know why I expected anyone to come, anyway, after all the terrible things I'd done. And I would probably still be out doing terrible things if I wasn't occupied at the moment.

Mason ignored me, his eyes shining. "You see, Damon?" he said breathlessly, as he excitedly as began to move his hand slowly over the crotch of my jeans. "This is the only kind of 'love' you'll ever receive. Do you understand that?"

"At least I get _something_," I retorted. He dropped the knife and slapped me with his free hand. But his other hand on that area of me really was a problem. My body, like anybody else's would have, began to respond to the physical stimulation. I felt a twinge of fear, which slowly morphed into disgust. I was disgusted with myself for getting here in the first place and for allowing him to do these things to me; for not being strong enough to fight him off.

"You just keep talking, Damon. That's the only damn thing you seem to be good at. Maybe when I'm _fucking _you senseless, you'll finally shut up." His hand slipped into my pants and I inhaled sharply. Was Mason Lockwood off his fucking rocker?

"See?" he said, licking my ear. "It's good, isn't it?"

Revulsion spiked through me, triggering my gag reflex.

I willed my body to calm down and it was easy enough, considering all the pain I was in. It was trying to preserve itself. And then something occurred to me and I felt that one adrenaline rush that I so desperately needed. Using the little strength I had left, I brought my leg up and kneed him in the groin.

He gasped in surprise and rolled off of me. I jumped to my feet, unsteadily, and ran for the door of the cellar we were in, stumbling the entire way across the dimly lit room. But in my weakened state, it just wasn't enough. Mason, close behind, reached out and grabbed my leg, and I fell face first onto the ground. He growled and crawled on top of me again. "I should end you right now for that bout of disobedience!"

"If you do that, then your plan is ruined," I pointed out, laughing weakly. I felt blood bubbling in my throat and I hastily spit it onto the cement floor. At this point, it didn't matter if anyone did rescue me. The amount of blood I would need to stay alive...

Mason, hissing, grasped my shoulders and slammed me into the ground for good measure. He reached into his belt loop and pulled out a small wooden stake, and drove it through my right calf, then pulled it out. I screamed, not necessarily because of the penetration, but because the tip was foaming with vervain. He groped around his belt loop again and grabbed another full plunger of vervain and stabbed it into me. Then, reaching over to the left, he grabbed the discarded knife and slid it along the inside of my thigh and dragged downwards.

The sound that ripped from my throat was unrecognizable.

And then he lowered his mouth to mine again, his smile cruel and unstable.

And this time, I did whimper, as everything faded to black.


	4. Defiance

Shadow Dance  
Chapter IV: Defiance

_Woke up and wished that I was dead_  
_With an aching in my head_  
_I lay motionless in bed_  
_I thought of you and where you'd gone_  
_and let the world spin madly on_

-The Weepies, "World Spins Madly On"

* * *

I don't know how long I was unconscious for, but I awoke to several sharp pains, tingling all throughout my body. Mason was still on top of me and I was still fully clothed, thank God. The pathetic excuse for a supernatural being was sliding one hand up and down my chest, occasionally flicking my nipple, which caused a small amount of pleasure to flood that area, but the feeling was fleeting. I was in so much pain. His other hand was busy moving up and down my thigh.

This guy really got off on assaulting unconscious people.

"Ah, I see you've come back from the dead again," Mason whispered against my ear.

I didn't have the strength to respond with any smart-ass remarks, so I just laid still and let him do what he wanted with me. Maybe I was the one who was pathetic. I felt my strength waning again and let my eyes slip closed.

Mason grabbed my hair and yanked my head up painfully. "Look at me when I touch you, pretty eyes," he snarled.

I tried to turn my head away, but he pulled harder.

"Don't disobey me, Salvatore," he growled in warning. "Tell me how much you like it when I touch you."

"Never," I whispered harshly.

"You're pushing your luck." He sat up, pinning me beneath his weight and then began to pull at my jeans. He was having trouble with the belt buckle, but he was luckily interrupted by the cellar door slamming open.

"If you know what's _fucking_ good for you, Mason Lockwood, you will get the _fuck _off my brother before I rip you to _fucking _shreds!" Stefan's furious voice filled the small room, reverberating loudly off the walls.

Mason's muscles flexed and in a flash he had dragged me to my feet. He had to hold me up because I couldn't stand. I saw the gleam of metal in his hand and felt the knife pressed against my throat. He held me securely around the waist. "You don't tell me what to do, Stefan. You should be pleading for your brother's life right now." He dragged the knife slowly across my throat, just enough to draw blood, and I unintentionally whimpered.

I had shut my eyes and when I opened them, I saw Stefan standing on the other side of the room, his green eyes alright with rage, wavy hair in disarray. He did not look like a force to be reckoned with. And then I noticed the people gathered behind him. Caroline stood to his left, and Bonnie stood to his right; behind them, Alaric and Jeremy.

And I didn't even have to see her to know that she was there – I could _sense_ her. Elena pushed Bonnie aside and strode forward to stand beside Stefan. He looked startled, and I guessed that she was supposed to stay behind him.

"You're outnumbered," Stefan growled at Mason. His eyes met mine briefly and I felt a small jolt pass through my body.

"That may be so," Mason said slowly, "but I have what you want – Damon. And I have no guilt about killing him right now." He paused, caressing my skin with the knife. "You know, Damon, you probably would have been a _great _fuck, considering that's all you're good for. Too bad we were interrupted."

Elena's eyes widened in shock and Stefan snarled and took a menacing step forward. "Get your fucking filthy hands off of him!"

Mason sighed in mock boredom. "You know what, Stefan? You're amusing when you're angry. But fine, I shall oblige your wishes." And the bastard dropped me straight onto the floor, which was stained with my own blood. I cried out when I hit the cement.

Stefan let out a low curse and in seconds, he was across the room with his hands on Mason's throat. "Tell me why I shouldn't end you right now, you sick fuck!"

Despite my pain and injuries, I couldn't help but smirk slightly. Never in my entire life had I heard my brother use such vulgar language.

Caroline was behind Stefan in an instant for back up, as the other four cautiously made their way into the cellar. Elena wasted no time in running to my side.

"Damon, oh, my God," she said almost incoherently as she knelt by my side. She slid her arms under me and carefully positioned me so that I was leaning against her. My head involuntarily dropped against her chest and I was surprised when she took one of my hands into her own and squeezed it. "What did he _do _to you?"

"I'm bleeding on you," I pointed out weakly. There were smears of blood on her lavender t-shirt and a growing stain on the left pant leg of her blue jeans.

Her soft brown eyes filled with tears. "I don't care, Damon. God...I..."

"I'm fine," I slurred. "You don't need to worry about me 'lena, okay?" The truth was, though, that if I didn't get blood soon, I would probably _die_. And since when did Elena care this much about me, anyway? I'd been nothing but a total dick to her lately, and she had made it perfectly clear that our friendship was over.

She grazed her thumb over my wrist, resting at the pulse point. "No matter what I tell myself, Damon, I could never stop worrying about you." She bit her lip.

Bonnie, who was standing over me, along with Alaric and Jeremy, bent down slightly and grazed her hand over my forearm. She pulled it away quickly, making a small choking sound, and I knew her powers had let her see what had happened to me. My eyes pleaded hers not to say anything and she gave a small nod.

Elena looked terrified, still holding my hand. "We have to get him out of here. He's...Damon! Keep your damn eyes open!"

I was trying and when I did look up at her, I saw determination in her eyes.

"You need blood, Damon. Right now," she said in a no-nonsense voice. She was looking at me sternly, her eyes drying up quickly.

I instantly realized her intentions. "No. Absolutely not," I said as firmly as I could.

"Damon, if you don't get something in you soon..." Alaric said, shaking his head. He actually looked concerned.

"I'm offering you my blood, Damon, and I don't care if you _want_ to take it or not! You're going to! I will _not_ let you die, do you understand?" Elena emphasized her last point by squeezing my hand again.

"Elena...I can't..." I would not take blood from my brother's girlfriend. End of story.

Stefan, still holding Mason against the wall and saying things that were none-too-kind to him, looked over at me suddenly, his eyes sharp. "God damnit, Damon, This is not a time to be stubborn. We'll deal with the consequences later, but for God's sake, you _need_ blood!" His voice had risen a notch near the end and he was looking at me with such worry that I thought I felt my heart flip.

Mason's cruel laughter interrupted our arguing.

Stefan growled. "I should just kill you right now," he said, turning his attention back to his werewolf captive.

"You can do whatever you want to me, Stefan, but let me tell you this: it's too late now." I could practically feel Mason radiating victory.

The cellar door creaked loudly and everyone jerked in surprise.

"What's going on?" Stefan demanded, practically throttling him.

Mason smiled his slow, sadistic smile. "Anyone care to play a game?"


	5. Casualty

Shadow Dance  
Chapter V: Casualty

_I'd take another chance, take a fall  
Take a shot for you  
And I need you like a heart needs a beat  
But it's nothing new, yeah yeah_

-OneRepublic, "Apologize"

_

* * *

_

"I do," growled a regal, velvet voice from the doorway. She stepped lightly, swinging her dark curls about her shoulders, looking poised as ever in 4-inch black heels, tight black jeans, and a black top. Her smouldering brown eyes first rested on Stefan and they drank in each other's appearance. She broke her gaze away and looked at me, carefully avoiding eye contact with Elena. I met her eyes for a moment and I saw them flare first with shock, and then anger, but she quickly concealed it. She pursed her ruby-red lips together and sauntered slowly toward us.

"Ah, Katherine, you're here. Thank goodness. This was getting a little too drawn out for my own liking," Mason said to her casually, still being held down by Stefan. A mischievous half grin crept its way up his face, lighting his eyes with malice.

Stefan was staring at her in shock, his shoulders sagging. "I should have known this was a _trap_." He emphasized the last word by gripping Mason's throat tightly.

"Katherine," Elena whispered. There was no fear in her voice as she regarded her lookalike. Her heartbeat was steady and. She defensively put one hand on the back of my head, and the other against my back and held onto me tightly, drawing me closer to her. She was protecting me. I noticed that Bonnie, Alaric and Jeremy had formed a semi-circle around us, almost unintentionally.

"I see you've gathered them all here like I suggested," Katherine told him sultrily. She was twirling a lock of the luscious hair in her hand, looking up at Mason through lowered, smoky eyes. "That's perfect; I was afraid that you were going to fail me again."

"What the _fuck_ is going on?" Stefan demanded. He was glaring at her with a hatred I had never seen before and I wanted – badly – to be there to shield him from her.

"Nothing, sweet Stefan." Katherine replied, her voice sweet as she roamed his body with her eyes. "Though I would suggest that you let go of my companion before I have to hurt one of you." She flashed her brilliant white teeth. She was beside him in an instant, easily shoving Caroline to the ground with a forceful thud.

Elena continued to hold me. She was clutching me so tightly that I could see her knuckles turning white.

A shock of pain seared through me. I should be protecting _her_. Why did I have to be so weak?

Stefan dropped Mason to the ground, and the moment he did, Katherine had her hand around his throat. She squeezed until he was gasping in pain, clawing at her arm.

Elena gasped. "Stefan!"

"Maybe if your diet didn't consist of Snow White's friends, Stefan, you would be able to fight back." She released him, her eyes flashing dangerously at him.

Mason had stood up by this point. He laughed cruelly.

I could feel the fear in the room. Even all of us together, especially in this state, did not stand a chance against Katherine. I hissed softly through my grit teeth and I felt Elena stroke my hair.

Speaking of Elena...

...she smelled rather delicious at the moment.

I realized I was nearly delusional with thirst, despite how much pain I was in. But I was stronger than that – I _had_ to be.

"Did you have fun with Damon, Mason?" Katherine asked as she strode toward him, her hips swinging.

He grinned so forcefully that the smile crinkled his eyes. I felt sick to my stomach. "He is quite the plaything, Katherine, isn't he?" He turned that disgusting smile on me and I found myself unconsciously clutching at Elena.

Stefan and Caroline stood side by side, eyeing Katherine warily, and I heard Jeremy's – or was it Alaric's? – sharp intake of breath when Katherine reached out and touched Mason's cheek, running her long fingernail up and down the flesh softly.

Meanwhile, I had begun to desperately press myself Elena. I had been reluctant to take her blood at first, but now...now I needed _something_. What if Katherine decided to attack Stefan or Elena?

Or anyone, for that matter.

Without missing a beat, Katherine turned her eyes on Elena. "Don't even think about it, Gilbert. You will not share your blood with Damon."

I heard Elena growl low in her throat, a sound I had never heard her make before.

"He's quite divine, yes," Katherine finally replied to Mason, her hand still on him. She moved her hand down to his chest and stroked him lightly there. He moaned softly.

I struggled with consciousness. Giving up would probably be the easy thing to do right now, but then again, I had never taken the easy way, had I?

"But, you know what I think the most valuable lesson to be learned today is, Mason?" Katherine said softly to him.

"What's that, Katherine?" His eyes gleamed at her.

"Never trust a vampire." She smiled slowly and her infamous sneer graced her delicate features.

Mason's eyes widened in shock as he sputtered, "What?"

"You're_ finished_." Katherine's hand shot through his chest.

He gasped, his mouth opening and closing rapidly, blood pooling at the corner.

With one decisive yank, she ripped his heart right out.

The girls in the room screamed and the men gasped as Mason's body fell to the floor with a heavy thud and Katherine carelessly tossed the bloody organ into the corner.

Caroline and Bonnie began retching and Elena had gone pale.

Whatever I had been expecting to happen in this little showdown...it certainly had not been that.

To my surprise, Katherine growled at Stefan, "Help your brother." And she stood stock still, seemingly completely unaware of what she had just done.

Stefan seized the moment and rushed to my side. I felt his cool hand against my forehead. I gazed up at him through tired eyes. "I'm not going to make it," I whispered truthfully.

"Don't say that," Elena gasped.

Stefan brought his wrist to his mouth and bit. Blood flowed freely from his wrist. "I don't have much to offer, Damon, but I need you to drink." He had gently repositioned me so that I was lying across Elena's lap. He knelt beside her, one hand holding my head up.

I hesitantly set my lips to his wrist and began to drink. Elena stroked my hair back gently, watching in what appeared to be horrified fascination.

After a few minutes, Stefan pulled his wrist away, clearly winded.

"Stefan," Alaric said gently, "are you okay?" His face was set in a deep frown, and I noticed for the first time that he and Jeremy were each holding one of Bonnie's arms, as if to keep her safe.

Caroline, eyeing Katherine warily, had walked over to us, careful to go nowhere near Mason's corpse. "I can give him blood," she offered.

"I'm fine," Stefan said to Alaric; and to Caroline, "No."

I was still in tremendous pain. It hadn't been enough.

"Move away from him," Katherine snarled, "you pathetic beings." Everyone except Elena and Stefan backed away.

"What game are you playing at?" Stefan demanded, his eyes darting to Mason's body. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Katherine?"

Her full lips turned into a pout. "Just having a little fun, Stefan." But her eyes twinkled and I knew that she was up to something else. "Now move." She grabbed me none too gently from Elena and laid me flat on the floor. I cried out softly.

"All of you – leave the room," she demanded, turning her eyes hard.

"I don't think so," Stefan said, his hand snaking protectively around Elena.

"You'll leave if you want your brother to live...if you all want to live. I can guarantee that."

"Go!" I whispered harshly.

"We'll be right by the door," Stefan warned. Jeremy, Alaric, Caroline, Bonnie, Elena, and Stefan all filed out, but did not stray too far.

The pain continued to course through me, even though I had some of Stefan's blood circulating through my system. I felt so cold...and I also felt my eyes close.

Katherine leaned over me, her ginger and lemon scent invading my nostrils. To think this was the woman I had loved...the woman I perhaps even _still_ loved, despite what she had done to me and to those I cared about.

"Damon," she said in the softest voice I had ever heard. She sounded exactly like Elena right then and this small fact compelled me to open my eyes. "You can't let go today." For once, her brown eyes were full of sincerity. I could only smile and reach up a trembling hand to touch her cheek.

She caught my wrist with her hand. "If you let go, then you're _giving up_..." she trailed off, her eyes darting over to Elena and Stefan, "...on those who love you." And for the first time, I saw in her face a kind of vulnerability I had never known.

I sucked in a shaky breath and suddenly whimpered, "_You_ don't love me." I was surprised when I felt a few hot tears slide down my cold cheeks.

She regarded me softly and ran her hand through my tousled hair. "No, I don't love _you_, Damon. But that doesn't mean I can't save you."

The last thing I remember is Katherine holding her wrist to my mouth and then everything faded to black.


	6. Stillness

Hello, everyone! Here is chapter six – sorry it took so long to post! I've been quite busy...with that said, I'll be pretty busy for the rest of the month, but I will try my best to get chapter seven up next week! Thank you to all my reviewers – I seriously love you guys! :) And please review - it's really encouraging and usually inspires me in some way!

* * *

Shadow Dance  
Chapter VI: Stillness

_All I wanted to say  
All I wanted to do  
Is fall apart now  
All I wanted to feel  
I wanted to love  
It's all my fault now  
A tragedy I fear_

-OneRepublic, "Mercy"

* * *

_Katherine stood before me, clad only in her white muslin slip. Dark, loose curls cascaded down and over her shoulders and back Her brown eyes were alight with intrigue as the moonlight washed over her creamy white skin. She didn't seem to care that the curtains of the picture window in my bedroom weren't drawn and that at any moment, someone could look in and see us._

"_Come closer to me, Damon," she whispered lowly, seductively._

_Without realizing it, I found myself taking the necessary steps toward her. I couldn't look away from her eyes as they prodded mine deeply. I shivered as a breeze rolled through the window – but was it actually from the cold or my own desire?_

"_Don't be afraid," Katherine said softly as she kissed my cheek and slid her slightly chilled hands under my linen shirt. I drew in a deep breath as she caressed the planes of my chest. My eyes slipped closed and I revelled in her touch. She moved her hands back down to the hem of my shirt and grasped it. I automatically put my arms over my head and she pulled it off me with ease. It floated to the floor with a soft swishing sound._

_When I met her eyes again, she was looking very coy and very mischievous. "I know you're still a virgin, Damon. It's okay." She pulled me closer and began to ease my brown slacks off my waist._

_I felt shock on my face. "How could you have possibly known?" I thought my stories of romancing women while on Confederate duty had been rather convincing; I had convinced Stefan._

"_Because you're trembling," she stated simply. She smiled at me. "Don't be ashamed. You're only following the rules – surprising considering that you don't follow any others." My pants had dropped to the floor. I stepped out of them and stood naked before her, shivering again._

"_I just...thought I'd wait for the right one," I whispered. I felt my desire grow and wash over my body. Her slip really left nothing to my already naughty imagination and as I reached for it, she caught my wrist and leaned in close to me, pulling my head down._

"_Oh, believe me, love," Katherine murmured as her lips touched my neck, "you've let the right one in."_

_And then I felt her teeth tear into my skin as she muffled my screams with her hand._

_

* * *

_

"Damon," someone was saying softly to me, shaking my shoulder. "Damon, wake up!" The voice was low and deep and calm, and in the back of my hazy mind, I knew it must have been Stefan.

But that didn't stop me from springing awake, panting and gasping, confusion clouding my wary mind. I looked around wildly, gulping for air, and calmed down when I realized that I was in my own bed. I could feel the silk of my sheets against my skin. I looked toward the window and saw that it was pitch black and then looked over to the side.

Stefan was sitting close to my bed, in a chair, his hand still grasping my shoulder.

What the hell...?

Memories came flooding back to me the instant I thought it and my eyes widened as I flung the blanket away from my body. I wore only a pair of black boxers, and could easily see my body and the current state of disrepair it was in. I had bandages around my thigh, my calf, my abdomen. And...I had bruises. How the hell did I have _bruises_? I could see them billowing darkly around my hips and thighs; they crept up my sides and over my stomach. I took in a shaky breath. It was an all too real physical reminder of what Mason had tried to do to me. I reached up and tentatively touched my face and felt them there, too. _Christ_.

"How did I...?" My voice came out hoarse as Stefan eased his grip on me.

"Katherine gave you blood. Elena and I brought you home." His voice sounded strained as he slowly retracted his hand and fidgeted with his ring.

And for some reason, I couldn't shake the feeling that there was way more to the story than that. Katherine would not give me blood for 'free' – of that I was sure.

I closed my eyes, trying to think. I literally did not remember Katherine giving me blood. Maybe she had compelled me to forget? Could she even do that? I felt something strange rise up inside of me but I pushed it back down. Why the hell did she help me in the first place...and more importantly, why the _hell_ did she not want me to drink Elena's blood?

My head spun and I felt nauseous. I had more questions than answers and my oh-so-charming little brother was definitely hiding something from me. Even more curious was the fact that even though I had received blood, I wasn't _healed_.

Stefan was still gazing at me, worry etched into his features. "Are you in any pain?"

I felt like my soul had been ripped from my body. "Not physically, no, Some minor tingles and things," I answered carefully. I swallowed hard as still images floated through my mind: being stabbed in the back with a syringe full of vervain; being dragged out into the empty parking lot and forced into the car; being bound, drugged, and stabbed; Mason's mouth on mine; his hands in places they shouldn't be...

I quickly silenced my own thoughts and inhaled sharply, trying to sit up.

"Damon," Stefan said urgently as he placed a hand against my chest, "don't. You need to rest."

I looked around wearily and then took a deep breath. I tried to hide my weakness but it manifested itself in the form of physiological reactions as my body began to shake.

"Hey," Stefan said softly. He stood up and went to pull the cover back over me. "You're safe now." He was giving me that same strange look as he took his seat by my side again.

"Go to bed," I said, trying to sound authoritative. "I'm fine. You can't stay by my bed all night."

Stefan's mouth twitched and I thought he might smile. "I'm not leaving. You're a _wreck_."

"Um, gee, thanks," I retorted, feeling some of my spunk and sarcasm slip back into my stream.

Then Stefan looked at me in complete seriousness. "You've been through a lot. I promise I'll answer your questions tomorrow, but right now, you need rest."

"I do have one," I ventured. "Where's Elena?"

Stefan nearly smiled again. "Right beside you."

I looked over to my other side and realized with a shock that Elena was, in fact, curled up on my bed, carefully hidden under the covers, her dark hair sticking out. I couldn't help gazing at her

"She fell asleep there," Stefan said slowly, "I didn't have the heart to disrupt her peaceful sleep by moving her."

I sunk back into my pillows, not sure what to think – of _anything_. "Seriously, Stefan...get some sleep," I mumbled.

"Maybe later," was his stubborn reply.

I snorted lightly and fell back asleep again.


	7. Haze

Oh, wow – hello, there! I am _so _sorry for my terrible lack of updating this fic! I don't even know why – I have the plot all sorted out in my mind. Anyway, here is the next chapter – _finally_. I hope you all heeded the warnings at the beginning of this story because this chapter contains an intense scene between two people. Let's just say that after everything that's happened, a boatload of confusion ensues.

Thank you all for your wonderful reviews and support – please continue to tell me what you think and I will try my best to never go that long without an update again!

* * *

Shadow Dance  
Chapter VII: Haze

_Inside my skin there is this space  
It twists and turns  
It bleeds and aches  
Inside my heart there's an empty room  
It's waiting for lightning  
It's waiting for you  
And I am wanting  
And I am needing you here  
Inside the absence of fear_

-Jewel, "Absence of Fear"

* * *

"_Don't stop, Damon," pleaded a voice low with lust and longing as I dragged my tongue across skin, smooth and sweaty, nipping here and there. I succeeded in eliciting more soft moans and the sound shot a sharp burst of need to my groin. _

_I felt myself smirk as I finally looked up from between pale legs – and was very surprised to meet the unrestrained heat of Stefan's green eyes. He regarded me with a lust I had never seen before. "Stefan?" I whispered, suddenly feeling him tug at my hair._

_I felt someone place a chaste kiss on the back of my neck, felt the warmth of a human body._

"_Us," she whispered._

_

* * *

_

I awoke suddenly in a cold sweat, eyes flying open as the events of the night came rushing back to me. My foggy mind desperately grasped at the edges of a dream that I could not remember – all I knew was that I was suddenly painfully hard and my breathing was somewhat erratic. I began to move my hand downwards before I remembered that I had the neighbourhood watch in my bedroom and groaned softly in frustration.

I sat up carefully, wincing from the soreness of my body and looked over and saw Elena still sleeping on the other side of my bed. My heart skipped a beat as I observed her angelic appearance. I closed my eyes, angry at myself for putting everyone in danger today. Mason may have been a coward, but he had certainly been right concerning some of his ideas about me.

I carefully slid out of my bed, noticing that Stefan was no longer in the chair and made my way to the bathroom. I closed the door quietly and stood in front of the mirror, observing the current mess that was my physical form. I snarled lightly, angry that I had been forced to submit to Mason in that way. Never again would I let someone take advantage of me like that – they would be _dead_, ripped to shreds – before they stood a chance.

Tired, I stepped away from the mirror and opened the door. I started walking back to my room but I smacked directly into someone. I groaned lightly, realizing it was Stefan. He stood in front of me, rubbing a hand over his forehead. I noticed that he was still wearing the same clothes are earlier.

"Where did you go?" he asked, a little too demandingly for my taste.

"The bathroom," I snapped. "Is that not okay?"

Stefan shrugged, watching me carefully with his eyes. I _hated _when he did that. I felt something flare in my chest, but it wasn't all anger.

"Are you okay?" He took a step toward me.

"I'm fine," I said softly, realizing that he was only concerned. Of course he was – he was Stefan and concern and worry had always been his primary jobs.

I saw Stefan clench his jaw in anger. "Don't lie to me, brother," he said slowly, pronouncing each word slowly and deliberately, stepping closer to me. He hesitated slightly, with his hand in the air, before reaching out to touch my shoulder.

I flinched at his touch, suddenly recalling the loaded question Mason had asked me about my brother. I could feel heat shoot through my body at the small contact and I suddenly felt vulnerable wearing so little clothing. I felt like I wasn't in control and that was something I was not fully equipped to deal with.

But Stefan's hand on my shoulder was so warm and inviting, and I could feel the world whirl before me. I didn't know if it was Mason who had planted the idea in my brain but I couldn't stop thinking about Stefan and how good it felt just to have his hand there.

The real problem came when I started thinking about his hand on other places. As I desperately tried to push away the sinful, delirious thoughts, my dream came rushing back to me and I drew in a sharp breath, mentally cursing. My reaction must have worried Stefan because he stepped closer, only mere inches separating us from each other.

"Damon?" he asked quietly.

"Damn it," I whispered softly, moving closer to him, inexplicably drawn to his body.

Stefan displayed no fear, though, as he continued to touch my shoulder. "Damon, what's going on?" he looked at my levelly and those green eyes shot a pang of heat to my already energized and aroused state. My lips went dry and I _wanted _to move away from him but I couldn't.

"Stefan," I began desperately, a slave to my own actions, as I grabbed his hand and placed it on my stomach, "I need you to _touch _me."

My brother stared at me open-mouthed, letting his hand drop from my shoulder. His eyes widened as he attempted to make sense of what must have been a delirious-sounding speech. "_What_?"

Frustration turned to relief when I forcefully moved his hand down so that he was practically cupping me through my black boxers. "_Jerk_. _Me_. _Off_," I growled out in the plainest terms I could think of.

Stefan was clearly at a loss for words, probably thinking that I was under some kind of depraved witch spell. "Damon," he said slowly, a blush forming on his cheeks, "I really don't think you know what you're doing or asking." He made a motion to remove his hand but I kept it firmly there.

I didn't know what the fuck I was doing, but it had quickly become a great distraction from my repetitive, tortured thoughts.

There was a long, drawn out silence before Stefan groaned, "_Fuck_, Damon," and shoved me hard into the bathroom door, pinning me there with his body. "What is wrong with you? Did Mason do this?" I mentally winced, remembering the position Mason and I had been in when he had arrived.

I bit my lip in frustration at the close contact. "Stefan...I _need _this," I pleaded desperately.

"Damon, I know this often escapes you, but this is completely inappropriate." He let out his own soft growl and purposefully twisted my arm painfully.

"It is?" I suddenly mocked, my anger and frustration getting the best of me, "because it's not like _you haven't done it before_." A hazy, nearly faded memory from 1864 flashed through my mind.

That was enough for Stefan as he snapped and suddenly grabbed my chin and forced me into a bruising kiss, not hesitating in prying my mouth open. I felt his tongue explore my mouth; first touching my own tongue and then brushing along the tips of my blunt teeth.

I was moaning softly into his mouth until he reached out and tugged my boxers half way down my legs. He pulled his mouth away from mine and spit into his hand before finally grabbing me below roughly. When his hand closed around my erection, I let my head drop against the door, eyes rolling up in the back of my head.

Stefan leaned forward, essentially trapping me between the door and his body, before lowering his mouth to my exposed neck. The soft kisses to the area were in great contrast to his vigorous aspirations below. A whimper escaped my throat as I moved my hips in time with his hand.

"Fuck, Damon, what the fuck is going on?" he murmured against my skin as he kissed my collar bone.

I didn't _know _what the fuck was going on; all I knew was that I was _so_ close to coming and that's all that mattered. "It feels good, Stef," I managed raggedly as he continued twisting and stroking. He thumbed the head delicately and that's all it took – my muscles tensed and legs shook as I came hard into his hand and onto my stomach. I whispered his name, small shocks of pleasure still coursing through my body.

Stefan gave one last stroke to the sensitive organ. I cursed softly and fell against him, breathing heavily. He looked down at his hand and then regarded me with a kind of shame before he pushed me gently aside, and opened the door, entering the bathroom.

I pulled my boxers back up and followed him, grabbing a clean washcloth, wiping myself off as he washed his hands. He turned around after meeting my eyes in the mirror and leaned his forehead against mine. "You're not okay, Damon. This is not okay."

I slowly came down from my high, trembling. "I just don't know, Stefan."


	8. Confrontation

Hello, everyone! Thank you, once again for your reviews, with special thanks to **toffeenutlatte**, **Damon's 86**, **LoveEpicLove**, **Crowley's Bitch 13**, **EtherealDemon**, **bynx1234** for sticking with the story! It means a lot and I appreciate your feedback, always. : ) And to **Eline **– I'm glad you liked the first half of the story; sorry to hear you won't be continuing with us.

Hope you enjoy this chapter – there's more angst and confrontation (of course) but next chapter...things will be getting _good_! : )

To those of you still reading 'Push' – I am trying to get an update up by next weekend. There're only three chapters left and I don't want them to disappoint! : )

Happy reading!

* * *

Shadow Dance  
Chapter VIII: Confrontation

_When memories fade, we've got each other  
When time and confusion collide  
singing, "I hold it all when I hold you."  
When friends walk other ways, we've got each other  
I hold it all when I hold, I hold it all when I hold you_

-Anberlin, "Time & Confusion"

_

* * *

_

"Talk to me, brother," Stefan finally said after a long stretch of silence. He pulled away from me and held me at arm's length. His grip on my flesh was tight; barely contained anger raged through him. "I need to understand what the hell just happened between us."

I opened my mouth to stay something but grunted at a sudden sharp pain. I looked down and saw bright red blood seeping slowly through the bandage on my thigh. I felt it dribble down my leg and saw it hit the bathroom floor. I noticed that Stefan was watching the blood, fascination on his features, as he moved closer to me.

I backed up, realizing that he had probably aggravated the healing process when he had pulled my boxers down. He grabbed my shoulders and turned me around, backing me up so that I was leaning against the counter.

"Sit down," he said roughly. I could see the anger in his green eyes, but I could also see the bloodlust that he so often struggled to control.

I hesitantly sat on the counter and involuntarily gasped when he grabbed my legs and pushed them apart. His hands pressed none-too-gently into the sore muscles of my thighs.

"Don't tell me you're going to be shy now after that little show back there," Stefan growled lowly. He reached behind my head and opened the wooden cabinet, pulling out a roll of gauze. He carefully removed the bloodied bandage and threw it into the wastebasket. I noticed that his breathing had become somewhat laboured, but he touched the skin gently despite his struggle. I hissed as pain shot down my leg.

"I thought Katherine healed me – _ah_!" I gripped the edges of the counter when he put the new bandage on. I couldn't meet his eyes, but I knew the blood would be tempting him despite the fact that it wasn't fresh human blood.

"She gave you blood. I don't know why you're not healing," he replied stiffly. There was another long instalment of silence between us before he gripped my chin and forced me to look at him. "Now I suggest you start talking, brother, because I don't care how hurt you are, I won't be putting up with any of your twisted games."

Stefan was incredibly angry but I could tell he had to actually _try_ in order to be so cruel. I wasn't about to play by his rules, though. In the most infuriatingly soft voice I could muster, I whispered, "There's nothing to talk about."

My younger brother slammed his hand down on the counter. "God damn it, Damon – you asked me to get you off and I _did_. You at least owe me some semblance of an explanation as to why this happened. You can trust me," he finished quietly, letting his hand graze my cheek.

The last thing I wanted from Stefan – from any one, really – was affection. I had gone my whole life without it and I didn't need it now.

"You've known me for nearly two centuries, Stefan, so you should know by now that I don't talk about my feelings or think before I act," I spat. I pushed my brother away from me and jumped off the counter, wincing slightly.

I wasn't able to leave, though, because in seconds, Stefan had me flat on my back on the bathroom floor, straddling my leg. One knee pressed between my thighs while the other was on the left side of my leg. He pressed himself against me and I struggled to push him away, but this happened to be one of the few times in our lives that he was stronger than me.

"Talk," Stefan said lowly, "or do you enjoy being submissive?" He pinned my wrists to my sides so that I was completely immobile and pushed his knee against my groin.

I closed my eyes, my breath caught in my throat, as I remembered that this was the same position Mason had had me in mere hours ago. "What are you doing?" I whimpered.

"That, brother, is the same question I've been asking you for the past twenty minutes." Stefan leaned down close to my mouth, and just barely grazing the skin, skimmed my neck with his nose.

Something inside of me snapped; a panic alarm went off in my brain and I started thrashing wildly under Stefan, desperate to get him off of me, but he did not budge. My throat burned as I felt waves of unrestricted emotion control me. "Let _go_!"

Stefan eased his grip on me. "Damon, listen to me. I know you've been through some pretty tough shit tonight. You were taken, tortured, and touched without your consent. I know that must be difficult but I need you to _not _vent your frustration like you did earlier. I can help you, brother, but you need to let me. Because I swear to God if you ever lose it around Elena, I will put a permanent end to your misery. Do you understand?"

I opened my eyes and looked right at him, momentarily calm. "I love Elena. I would never hurt her." When I finally said the words to him, I felt lighter, like the weight pressing down on my shoulders had been temporarily lifted. There was no use in denying it to him. It was plain as day by this point. I waited for the backlash, but it never came.

"I know you love her, Damon," he said softly. "And I can't even be angry at you right now. Love is the most powerful of emotions – it humanizes and humbles you." He let go of my wrists and touched his hand to my cheek.

"Stefan?" I closed my eyes, not wanting to look him full in the face. I figured this was the only time in my life that I was vulnerable enough to be honest so I decided to do away with my all feelings at once. "I don't know why, but there are things I feel for you that I _shouldn't_."

"Look at me," Stefan said softly.

I opened my eyes, swallowing hard. "I'm _sorry_. I...I needed you to...I needed to know if it felt the same as it did back then."

His eyes bore into mine. "Did it?"

The weight of shame was too hard to carry now. "Yes."

"If only you knew what it did to me, watching you writhe under my touch, Damon." He picked up my hand and placed it against his thigh. "Do you even realize how unfair this is? How quickly you can do this to me? It's not fair to me, to you, or to Elena. I still don't know what the hell happened back there but _this _is done." He dropped my hand. "It _has _to be," he finished in a whisper.

I opened my mouth to reply, but that was before the female standing in the doorway demanded, "What the hell is going on in here?"


	9. Honesty

Hey, guys! Oh, my...sorry I've been absent for so long. I got slammed with a pile of stuff (and it won't stop coming)! Thank you to my wonderful reviewers – you guys are the best! I'll admit, this chapter isn't the best, but I'll hope you read and review anyway!

For those following my other fics (Ice or Push) – I will try to have the former updated within the next few days (I have a _lot _of material to wade through and edit) and as for the latter...I _want _to have it updated soon, I really do! But time constraints are killing me!

Once again, thanks, guys! Enjoy. : )

* * *

Shadow Dance  
Chapter IX: Honesty

_I know that things are broken_  
_I know there's too many words left unsaid_  
_You say you have spoken, like the coward I am_  
_I hang my head_

_You lay careless, your head on my chest_  
_And don't even look at me looking my best_  
_And all these things I can't describe,_  
_You would rather I didn't try_

_But please, don't cry you liar_  
_Oh please, don't cry you liar_  
_Oh please, don't cry you liar_  
_Oh please, don't cry you liar_  
_Oh please, don't cry you liar_

_And you lean in for your last kiss,_  
_Who in this world can ask me to resist?_  
_Your hands cold as they find my neck,_  
_Oh this love I have found, I detest_

_-_Mumford & Sons, "Liar"

_

* * *

_

Elena stood in the doorway, dark hair tumbling over her pale shoulders, as she looked on, shocked at the precarious situation in which Stefan and I had found ourselves. I faintly noted that she was wearing a pair of pyjama pants – clearly Stefan's, as they were a few sizes too big – and a violet tank top. I had been too zoned out earlier to notice. She took a few steps closer, brown eyes widening. "Seriously, what the hell happened in here? Stefan – get off him! He's – _Jesus_! He's bleeding!" In the time I had known Elena, I had never heard her curse like that.

I looked up at Stefan's white shirt and noticed the red blood stain on it, which had seeped from the wound on my abdomen. The gauze was torn and a steady red stream flowed from me to my brother. I winced. This was the second time in less than fifteen minutes I had reopened an injury. Katherine's blood clearly had not healed me fully and I was suddenly unnerved at what she may have done to me when I had placed blind trust in her once again.

"Damn it," Stefan cursed, getting off of me. He extended his hand and easily pulled me upwards. He gripped harder than necessary, clearly trying to convey his frustration to me. I could feel the heat of his anger moving slowly toward me. When provoked, my saintly younger brother could be manipulative and frightening; I had experienced it firsthand.

Elena wasted no time in positioning herself between us. She glared, clearly upset. "Can you two not fight for one day? Look at _that_!" She gestured angrily at the bleeding gash and then turned directly on me. "And what were you even doing out of _bed_? God damn it, _Damon_, we try to help you, and all you do is reject it!"

I opened my mouth to retaliate but she snapped, "_Shut it_!" She ran a hand through her long, sleep-tousled hair and then very gently and not unlike Stefan, she peeled the bandage away from my abdomen. I was in pain, but her hand, so intimately grazing my skin, sent electric shivers down my spine.

"How irresponsible are you?" Elena growled. Her hand still on me, she then turned to Stefan. "Why isn't he healed?"

"I don't know, Elena," Stefan said softly, reaching out to gently touch her cheek. In that moment, all three of us were connected; Elena's hand on my stomach and Stefan's hand on her cheek. I shifted uncomfortably, as images of just minutes earlier flashed through my mind.

Elena paused for a moment, eyeing us warily. "What happened between you two?" she asked slowly. She was perceptive; it was exceedingly difficult to fool her; and as of late, especially when it came to my feelings.

Stefan displayed some painfully human characteristic as he looked off to the side, cheeks reddening with a slight blush. I knew he must have been thinking about what we had done. "We had an argument," he said softly, refusing to meet anyone's eyes. For some reason, this angered me.

I grit my teeth, suddenly on edge and needing to leave. "I'm done here." I pushed Elena away from me – something that I was very good at – and attempted to remove myself from the tense atmosphere that had been created in the bathroom. I could feel something within me begin to shake uncontrollably.

Elena caught my wrist. "Don't. Don't shut us out, Damon. Don't shut _me _out." The words fell from her lips so softly, so quietly, that I barely heard them. "I don't care how old you, what you are, or what you've done. The fact is that you are not capable of handling this by yourself." I slowly turned again and met her eyes. She looked upset but determined.

She seemed to think that I was upset about Mason, and that I had lashed out at Stefan. At least, that's how I would see it if I was her. The truth was, though, that she would be correct if that's what she thought. I was upset about Mason, but now I was also confused about the shifting dynamic between Stefan and I. God, what had I done, forcing him into a situation like that?

"Elena..." I could hear the warning in Stefan's voice, but she continued to push me.

"Let me put this in human terms for you, Damon - Mason _sexually assaulted _you," she said bluntly, "and _no one _would be okay after that." Her voice had been growing louder and more confident with each syllable as she continued to grip my wrist almost painfully.

_Please, Elena_, I thought desperately, _stop. I don't want to deal with this. Not now; not ever. _My internal thoughts grew more jumbled, more desperate. Not that I didn't already have issues, but this situation had definitely exacerbated them, especially when it came to dealing with my unspoken love for Elena and my lustful feelings for my brother.

Elena let go of my wrist and stepped in front of me, quiet. She silently grabbed a towel off the rack and pressed it against my injury. I couldn't meet her eyes and for a moment, the room was completely silent, except for my ragged breathing.

She pulled the towel away after a while, pleased to see that the bleeding had stopped, and wrapped a new bandage, which she had grabbed from the counter, around my midsection. I flinched at the close contact. She simply stood there for a few moments, her palm flat against me, as Stefan watched us curiously.

I was not meant to be touched this gently; it was meant to be rough, like it had been my entire life. The only person who had dared to caress me like this had been Katherine; as it turned it, she was simply trying to gain my trust and love so she could use me. Elena was so close to me now and I could smell her blood – I wondered what it would be like to just tear into her, completely inhibited. I felt my eyes flash as I eyed her warily. She looked at me, surprised, and backed up.

"Damon?" Elena asked softly.

Stefan suddenly hissed and tore her away from me, stepping in front of her. "Damon," he growled, "I warned you what would happen if you don't control yourself." His eyes were brimming with anger, and in that moment, I couldn't take it anymore.

I grabbed Stefan by the shirt and roughly shoved him backwards into the wall, easily moving Elena out of harm's way first. He hit his head against the wall and I noticed a faint streak of blood on the tile. If Stefan was as strong as he had demonstrated earlier, then he would have no trouble fighting back.

Elena gasped and grabbed my arm, trying to get me to unpin Stefan. "What are you doing?" she asked in a panicked voice.

"I need things from both of you that can't give me!" I shouted. "I need...I need..." My lashes suddenly felt wet. I didn't know _what _precisely the thing was that I needed but I was damn sure that neither of them could provide it. The thing I needed seemed to be so buried deep within myself that I could only see the vague outlines of it brushing the edges of my soul.

I felt Elena still trying to pull me off of Stefan but I held my brother there as something primal boiled up in my skin, causing heat to flash through my body. "Tell her," I said suddenly, "tell her what we did." Rational thought suddenly escaped me.

I was focused on Stefan's surprised face but I guessed that Elena's was just as surprised.

"Damon," my younger brother growled lowly, "don't do this."

"Aren't you always begging honesty of me, Stefan? Well, I want to be _honest_!" I slammed my fist into the marble-tiled wall, rattling it with a renewed vigour. I could feel myself falling apart and I could do nothing to stop it. Unbridled rage, guilt, and shame coursed through my body.

"Damon," Elena said softly, resting her hand on my arm. "Step back, take a few breaths, and look at me."

I swallowed hard, meeting Stefan's eyes. I saw reflected in them the same emotions that I felt.

"Let me do this my way," Stefan said, voice so soft that Elena wouldn't be able to hear. "I need some time. I need to think."

"That's the problem with you, Stefan. You always think – and never _feel_." When I leaned in and pressed my lips against his roughly, Elena's grip on my arm slackened as she gasped.

Stefan's hands had come up to my chest, as if to push me away, but he was suddenly motionless.

"Damon!" Elena sputtered. "What are you _doing_?"

I whirled on her, releasing Stefan, and took her face between my hands. "And you...Elena. You have _no _idea."

Stefan moved to jerk me away from her, but Elena stopped him. "Wait!" she whispered, meeting Stefan's eyes over my shoulder. She was searching my own eyes quickly and rapidly, scanning over them and through them, evaluating me.

"I don't understand," she began, blushing as she looked between Stefan and I. "I don't understand what's going on. I'm not going to judge you until I get the whole story. So don't try and turn me against Stefan, and don't try and turn me against yourself. You should know by now, Damon, that this is not how I work."

I could feel my resolve crumble and I knew it had to do wholly with that fact that it was _Elena_ saying these things to me. My head pounded as the moment became too much. I remembered being kidnapped; I remembered the torture, Mason, Katherine not loving me, me loving Elena, Stefan, being rescued...

I whimpered and let go of her, but she didn't pull away. Instead, she wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me in to her. I wanted to resist – my entire life up until this point had been about resistance; resist pain, resist guilt, resist shame, resist love.

"I don't understand, Damon. Maybe I never will. But you can help me to _try _to understand."

Stefan hesitantly put his hand on Elena's shoulder, rubbing it gently, but he was looking at me. "It's going to be okay." His eyes were sharp and clear, focused on me. No matter what I did to my brother, he somehow always managed to forgive me.

Those were the last words I heard before I felt my knees give way, and I slid into the darkness once again.


	10. Reality

I didn't forget about this story. ; ) Thank you for your wonderful support and feedback! Please continue to read and review! And if this is your first time here...please remember to heed the warnings at the beginning of the story and tread carefully.

* * *

Shadow Dance  
Chapter X: Reality

_But you're so contagious__  
__Tell me, what am I to do?__  
__When a fire, and a fever rages_

_And I have caught it too,__  
__So who's to blame_

_Fever Dreams__  
__They can only haunt you__  
__'Til the fever breaks__  
__They can only haunt you_

-Dashboard Confessional, "Fever Dreams"

* * *

_Katherine circled me in the dimly lit bedchamber, as shadows from the candles flickered over the walls, sometimes catching her shadow, sometimes catching mine. My heart beat rapidly against my rib cage when she suddenly stopped directly in front of me and ran the nail of her right index finger down my chest. I shuddered at her touch, as I was prone to do._

"_You can't tell me," she began in a low, seductive voice, "that you've never wondered what he tastes like?" She lowered her mouth to my neck and began trailing hot, wet kisses over the area, causing me to inhale sharply. "He tastes even sweeter than you, Damon. I think you would enjoy it." She looked up at me through her dark lashes, watching for my reaction._

_I exhaled. "No, Katherine. Don't you understand how wrong that would be?" I felt my skin burn as she continued to roam my body with her hands and tease me with her mouth. I fought against the urge to close my eyes and lean in to her delicious, sinful touch. Never before had a woman shown me the things that Katherine had, and for that I was grateful. But there was only so far I was willing to go._

_She nipped at my neck with her blunt teeth, but I felt a slight pang of pain when she bit harder than she usually did. "Oh, Damon," she murmured, "don't you wish to please me? It would bring me great pleasure to see you become so involved with Stefan." _

_I could feel her smiling against my heated flesh and I had to use every ounce of will power I had to deny her. It became considerably harder when I felt her hand slip between my legs; I bit back a moan and rasped, "Stefan is my brother. We are of the same blood." I was having a difficult time concentrating on my argument as she continued to touch me._

"_And this isn't?" Katherine whispered. She captured my mouth roughly and thrust her tongue inside, simultaneously shoving her hand into my slacks. "Oh, God, Damon – you're so hard for me right now," she teased between kisses._

"_Ah!" I cried out when her hand wrapped around me so smoothly, so easily. My knees went weak when I felt her hand brush up and down my length slowly. It was becoming more and more difficult to fight her seduction – I felt myself leaning into her touch, bringing my hand up to tangle in her long, luxurious curls. How could I possibly deny her anything when she gave me so much?_

"_Do you know what he does to me?" she continued, a slight smirk playing on her full lips. "I can't even imagine what he would be capable of doing to you." She emphasized her words with a slight squeeze, and I gasped, my head falling against her shoulder._

"_Katherine...he's my brother," I said again, hoping that my same, tiresome argument would begin to wear on her slightly._

_Her mischievous grin widened. "I know, Damon." As she said this, a knock sounded at my door and she released me to answer it. _

_I stood in the middle of the room, helpless and confused; aroused and flushed. I had closed my eyes in frustration, groaning slightly. When I opened them again, Stefan was striding towards me as Katherine shut and locked the door. "What are you doing here?" I snapped. "Get out!"_

"_Damon," he greeted, ignoring my command and the absolute venom in my voice. His shocking green eyes were studying my face carefully. There was something different about him; the way he stood, the way he spoke. And the smirk on his lips was very reminiscent of Katherine._

"_Stefan's curious, too, aren't you?" Katherine whispered, just loud enough for me to hear. She had come up behind him, placing a small kiss on the back of his neck. I could see her stroking his arm lightly._

_Stefan smiled gently and stepped toward me. "No one will ever have to know, brother. You can trust me." _

_I stiffened, backing away. "I said no to this preposterous insanity. What is wrong with you, Stefan?" My voice came out with a slight quiver and I did not like it. I could not be frightened of my younger brother._

_Stefan would not leave me alone, though; he kept walking towards me until he was standing inches away and the backs of my knees had hit the bed. "Damon," he said softly, reaching out and resting his hand on my shoulder. "If you don't trust me, then don't you at least trust Katherine?" he asked, frowning slightly._

_I should have been able to trust her, since I loved her and she loved me, but lately, there had been a dark sense of doubt creeping slowly into my mind. "I don't want to do this," I whispered. "Please – leave." Even I wasn't sure what this was, but the way Stefan was looking at me spoke only of trouble._

"_You don't have to be frightened of me," Stefan said softly, suddenly taking my face between his hands. "I can take care of you, Damon." His eyes flickered below for a moment and he licked his lips. "It will feel good – I promise."_

"_No! Katherine, please," I begged, looking past Stefan to see her just standing there, watching us curiously and delightedly. "Tell him not to do this. Tell him I don't want this!" I moved to push him away but he simply grabbed my wrists and leaned forward until his mouth was inches from mine. His face was dark, only the slightest bit of candlelight dancing over it, and his eyes, usually so brilliant a green, had been significantly darkened by lust._

_Katherine simply shrugged, cocking her head to the side. "Why should you deny your brother what he wants, Damon?" Her mouth slowly turned up into a smile._

"_Did you do something to him?" I whispered as Stefan's face came closer to mine. "Are you making him do this?"_

_She simply smirked, and batted her eyelashes. "Why would I do that?" Standing there in her simple shift, bathed in the soft glow of the moonlight, Katherine looked more powerful than I had ever seen her. For the first time, I felt a prick of genuine fear, as I realized just what she was capable of._

_I couldn't stand here any longer, my decisions being condescended and undermined. "Let go of me, Stefan!" I growled, as I began to struggle against him. It only took me a few seconds to realize the fight was in vain; Stefan had my wrists locked in a steel grip from which I could not escaped. He knocked me down onto the bed easily, and before I could fully react, he was crawling on top of me, settling himself between my legs. He leaned down and let his lips hover above mine._

_I turned my head to the side, casting a glance at Katherine. "I don't want this."_

"_Too bad," Stefan whispered, forcing me to turn my head back. He searched my eyes for a moment before lowering his lips down to lightly brush mine. The sweetness of his kiss was very much in contrast to his non-idle hands; they trailed down my chest and stroked the insides of my thighs. I whimpered, half in fear and half in shame at the pleasure I felt._

"_Katherine made you nice and hard for me, Damon," Stefan murmured sultrily. He kissed me more firmly before moving his mouth and licking the outside of my ear. "Sometimes she doesn't finish what she starts, but I always finish what I start." He rubbed his hand in slow circles between my legs, causing me to arch into him unintentionally. "Do you want me to finish you, Damon?" _

"_No!" I raised both my hands and shoved hard against his chest, causing him to topple slightly. I rolled out from under him and jumped gracelessly out of the bed. I stood there on slightly shaking legs, confused at my heightened state of arousal and Stefan's less-than-subtle come-on. I had barely recovered when Katherine slammed me into the wall, so hard that the pictures hanging there rattled._

"_Deny it all you want, Damon," Katherine said furiously, "But it won't be long before you're begging your brother to touch you like that again. As a matter of fact..." She gestured to Stefan, who was still recovering from my escape, to come over to us._

_I whimpered softly as Katherine held me there, and Stefan came close enough to skim his nose down the sensitive flesh of my throat._

"_I can make you cum, Damon. Are you sure don't want that?" Stefan's mouth twitched up into a smirk at the shocked expression on my face before he began kissing my neck, nibbling lightly at it. I felt my eyes close as it became harder to fight the pleasurable sensations lightly teasing my body._

"_Katherine's not compelling me," he whispered in to my ear. "This is all of my own free will."_

_I bit back a groan, suddenly torn between wanting him to touch me and realizing just how wrong it was..._

* * *

Someone touched my face, caressing my cheek with a warm hand. There were whispered words which I couldn't quite make out, and as I started to awaken, I realized that someone was holding me down, pinning me at the arms.

It dawned on me that I was being held down because I had begun to thrash violently. I felt pressure on the sides of my head and groaned softly. I tried to sit up in the middle of my spasm, eyes still closed, but a cold, firm voice stopped me.

"Stay down," Stefan murmured calmly and evenly.

"Let go of me!" I demanded in a rough voice, thoroughly confused. I slowly opened my eyes, and was greeted by the sight of both Stefan and Elena hovering over me anxiously.

"I'll let go if you calm down," Stefan replied gently.

"Let him go, Stefan," Elena said firmly. She flashed him a worried look.

Stefan let go of my wrists and I sat up, thoroughly confused and disoriented. I was surprised when Elena tenderly pressed her hand to my forehead, her other hand warm on my back. I felt myself relax against her gentle touch.

"What happened?" I asked, shivering, although I could recall perfectly well what had happened. I avoided eye contact with Stefan and instead focused on a loose thread in my comforter.

"You've been asleep since the first time you woke up after we rescued you," Stefan said softly. "But you suddenly started thrashing and screaming. You kept saying my name, Damon. You woke Elena up. She was still asleep beside you."

I lifted my head to stare at Stefan blankly. "Wait...what?" I felt Elena rubbing my shoulder in comfort.

Stefan quirked an eyebrow, confusion now etched on his face. "What is it, Damon? Did you have a nightmare?"

"No...yes. Stefan...how can you so blatantly ignore what happened in the bathroom?" I swallowed hard, wondering if he had told Elena yet.

The lines on my brother's forehead deepened. "What are you talking about?"

"I went up to go to the bathroom and...we, uh, had a fight. And then I...passed out." I looked over at Elena. "You caught me before I fell. That's the last thing I remember."

"Damon," Elena said gently, "None of that happened. You must have been dreaming. That would also explain why you were screaming Stefan's name..."

I broke out into a cold sweat. "What's the last thing I said to you, Stefan?"

"You woke up shortly after we brought you home. You and I talked for a bit, and then you told me to get some sleep..." Stefan touched my hand for a moment, clearly as a sign of comfort. "Are you okay, Damon? Do you need some blood?"

I suddenly began to tremble, and I closed my eyes as the onslaught of feelings, frustration, and confusion hit me all at once. _It was a dream...it was all a dream._ I took a deep breath and opened my eyes to look up at the ceiling.

I realized that even if it was a dream, it didn't change a damned thing about how I felt about either of them.


	11. Bare

Shadow Dance  
Chapter XI: Bare

_Yeah I'm fadin'__  
__And I call out__  
__No one hears me__  
__Never been, never felt, never thought I'd say a word_

_Weighed down__  
__Safe now_

_You're naked inside your fear__  
__You can't take back all those years__  
__The shots in the dark from empty guns__  
__Are never heard by anyone__  
__Never heard by anyone_

_Yeah I'm hiding__  
__in the fallout__  
__Now I'm wasted__  
__They don't need me, don't want me, don't hear a word I say_

-The Goo Goo Dolls, "Naked"

* * *

"Damon," Elena said softly, placing her warm hand in the crook of my arm. "Do you want to talk about what happened tonight?" There was absolutely no hesitancy or judgement in her voice – simply solid understanding and a clear will to listen. Stefan had left my room to get us some food – blood and snacks, apparently – and that had left the brunette and I in the midst of a very awkward and uncomfortable silence.

The truth was that I _did _want to talk to her, especially with my nightmares still haunting me, distracting me from keeping everyone safe. But there was no way to explain to her what I had been through tonight and the dreams that had followed. There was no way to breach any of my misery lightly, and I just couldn't put her in that position.

I slowly shook my head at her and looked down at the covers. Never had I felt more unlike myself than I did in this moment; I felt quiet, defeated, and resigned, like there was nothing I could say or do that would fix my situation.

"Hey," Elena murmured interrupting my thoughts, "look at me." She touched her hand to my cheek and then grasped my chin, forcing me to look at her. "I can feel you trembling, Damon. Please, talk to me. You can trust me."

When I refused to say anything, she spoke again. "When you snapped Jeremy's neck, Damon, I thought I could never forgive you. All I could think was how revenge-driven, callous, and cold-hearted you were, despite the fact that I had seen firsthand that you were _none _of those things." She sighed softly, letting her hand rest on my shoulder, grazing my skin so gently with her fingertips that I shuddered.

I laughed bitterly. "Your first assessment was correct, Elena."

Elena was shaking her head before I was even finished. "No, it wasn't. The lengths you go to save others are incredible. When I saw the way Mason was touching you, the way you were laying on the floor, ready to accept defeat, I was completely terrified. It was a wake-up call to how much you mean to me, how much I care about you, and how afraid I am to lose you. I care about you so much, Damon, and you just can't seem to understand that."

I swallowed hard and met her eyes, completely unsure of how to respond to her words. I could feel my exterior cracking as she moved her hand down my back and began to rub soothing circles over it. "Elena," I finally said, lifting my eyes to meet hers, "I'm really messed up right now." It was the first time I had told the truth to anyone in a long time.

"It's okay," Elena murmured, sliding her hand down to suddenly hold mine.

The simple act of her holding my hand sent a wave of long-repressed emotion crashing over me, and I found myself burying my face in her shoulder, grasping her hand tightly. I couldn't take it anymore. It was _too _much – everything had become too _much_. I wanted nothing more than to flick the switch back off, but it refused to move.

Elena let go of my hand and didn't hesitate in wrapping her arms around me, pulling me in close to her warmth. She held me in silence, occasionally letting her hands brush gently through my hair. "I'm here for you," she murmured soothingly into my ear.

Her warm breath on my skin, the tickle of her hair on my shoulders – I sighed softly, calming down, and began to enjoy the simple sensations of being near her.

She pulled back and regarded me with a strange look passing over her delicate features. "Damon," she said softly, leaning in closer to me, "there's something I've wanted to do – _properly _– ever since that night in my bedroom when you were drunk..."

I felt my eyebrows knit together as I looked deeper into her eyes. "Hm?" I asked dazedly, falling under her spell.

Elena's hands came up to cup my face tenderly. "_This_." She leaned in and pressed her lips chastely to mine with the gentlest of pressure. I drew in a sharp breath, but found myself kissing her back just as softly. It lasted only a few seconds before she pulled away and leaned her forehead against mine.

"I knew it," she murmured, brushing her fingertips over the nape of my neck. "I was just afraid to admit it to myself."

I shivered, still in partial shock at the exceedingly intimate moment we had just shared. "What?"

"You were right, Damon. There _is _something between us..." She trailed off and placed a gentle kiss to my temple. She pressed her hand over my heart. "But I don't want to hurt you...or Stefan."

I opened my mouth to reply, but Stefan chose that moment to come back into the room. Elena, surprisingly, didn't move away from me upon his return. She kept her forehead pressed against mine and her hand on my chest.

"Is everything okay?" Stefan asked, his voice clearly strained. He set down the things he had been carrying and approached the bed. "Elena?" he questioned softly, his eyes darting over our intimate entanglement.

"Sit down next to your brother, Stefan," Elena commanded softly, never breaking eye contact with me.

Stefan hesitantly sat on the bed, on the other side of me. "What's going on?" I could hear the edge and the suspicion in his voice as he continued to observe us. I was seemingly trapped under some kind of spell – I couldn't move even if I wanted to.

"Aside from my family," Elena said softly, "I've come to realize that the two of you are people I cannot live without. Do you know how important you are to me?"

Stefan reached over me to touch Elena's wrist, and in doing so, lightly brushed the exposed skin on my side. It took everything within me to not shudder at the contact. "Of course, love. That feeling is wholly reciprocated." His voice still held some confusion.

Elena finally pulled away from me and gazed at Stefan, grasping his hand tightly over my body. "I need you to know, Stefan, that I have feelings for Damon – _very _strong feelings. You should know that this, in no way, changes the way I feel about you."

To my complete and utter surprise, Stefan simply nodded and replied, "I understand, Elena. Take as much time as you need to figure things out. And as far as Damon goes, I'm sure we all know how he feels about you." With this statement, his voice had turned smooth and cold.

I didn't know what to say or what to do. I was literally trapped in the middle of them. "I've tried so hard to turn it off," I finally whispered, pulling completely away from Elena. "But it won't go away."

Stefan suddenly grabbed me angrily and forced me to look at him. "_Don't _turn it off, Damon. I don't need you losing your humanity all over again. _This _is human emotion, and sometimes it can be raw and painful. When things get rough, you can't just give up. That's all you've done in the past, and I _know _I'm partially responsible for that. But to let it go now would be such a shame."

I tried to look away from him but he grabbed my chin and held me there. His eyes were absolutely burning into mine with a passion I had rarely seen in Stefan. I found myself gripping his forearm. "I'm sorry, Stefan," I finally whimpered. "I'm just...I'm _sorry_. To both of you." I twisted out of his grasp, overwhelmed, and used the little strength I had to gently move Elena aside and get out of the bed.

"I'm going to have a shower," I said, looking over at them. "This day has been absolute hell and I've never felt dirtier in my life."


	12. Lost

Thank you guys _so _much for your wonderful reviews! :) Here's the next chapter. Be sure to tell me what you think, and if you have any suggestions for any one-shots that I should write – shoot 'em my way in your review!

* * *

Shadow Dance  
Chapter XII: Lost

_I just got lost  
Every river that I tried to cross  
Every door I ever tried was locked  
Oh, and I'm just waiting 'til the shine wears off_

-Coldplay, "Lost"

* * *

Once in the shower, I found myself angrily scrubbing at my skin with a renewed vigour, trying to ease my emotional pain with the replacement of harsh, physical punishment. I was not gentle; throughout my cleansing process, I had broken the skin several times. I watched the blood wash down the drain, turning the water red, and then back to clear when the cuts healed themselves. I still had unhealed gashes on my stomach and thighs, but I could care less.

I roughly massaged my scalp with the shampoo, reaching a soapy hand to turn the water heat up higher. I hissed as it touched my skin, but stood under the burning liquid and washed the suds from my hair. Satisfied that I had drained myself of any more physical fight, I shut the shower out and reached for a towel, ignoring the small trickle of blood running down my body. As I wrapped it around my waist and stepped forward, I was quite surprised to collide with something soft.

"Damon, what are you _doing_?" Stefan's soft, firm voice demanded. My brother gripped me by the shoulders, turning his worried green gaze on me.

"What are _you_ doing?" I snarled. "Why are you in here?"

"To make sure you didn't do something stupid – and it appears you already have," he replied, frowning at me, clearly observing my reddened skin.

I tried to shake him off but he held tight. "Let me _go_," I growled, my hands snapping up to grip his forearms. He didn't even flinch, further proving how vulnerable I was in my weakened state.

"No," Stefan replied, keeping his tone neutral, never breaking eye contact with me. Then, after a moment of silence had fallen between us, he said, very softly, "Why are you so angry, Damon?"

Something inside of me snapped; it shattered into a million little pieces, cutting my insides with its razor sharp edges until I found myself gasping for breath as a loud sob erupted from my throat and my own hold on Stefan went limp.

His eyes went wide, clearly startled by my response, but he quickly moved into action, bringing both of his arms around me. "Shh," he murmured softly, in the gentlest voice I had ever heard, as he pulled me into his arms and held me there.

And for some reason, this only made me more upset. I hid my face in his shoulder as shameful sobs attacked me from seemingly out of nowhere. I was lost, angry, and confused, and never in my life did I remember crying like this – not even when our mother had died. I had always been the strong one, and I had always protected my brother. But not now – it appeared the roles were reversed and I needed him more than ever.

"It's okay to feel this way," Stefan soothed, brushing his fingers over the nape of my neck. "I'll be here for you." He leaned forward, perhaps to kiss my forehead, but at the same time, I was lifting my face from his shoulder, my sobbing having subsided, and our lips collided.

I was temporarily alleviated from my misery, shock coursing through my body, as neither one of us moved to break the accidental kiss, seemingly completely frozen to each other. Without thinking, I grabbed the back of Stefan's head and forced him closer, pressing my lips more firmly against his.

To my complete and utter surprise, he didn't pull away – instead, he backed me into the counter and kissed me fiercely, pinning my body with his and trapping me. He reached one hand up to cup my face, deepening the kiss as our tongues collided in a heated battle.

He made a strangled sound before pulling away, panting heavily and staring at me with a mix of emotions: wonder, confusion, and lust the most prominent of them. "What did we just – " he began.

"I'm sorry," I interrupted, immediately feeling the backlash of our rash actions. _Stupid, stupid, stupid_! I mentally chided myself, my grief temporarily forgotten. Stefan hadn't backed away from me – he was still pressed up against my scantily clad body, and even the tiniest bit of friction was making it hard to form a sensible thought.

"It's okay," he replied, his own voice slightly shaky, "it was my fault, too." His eyes quickly flicked down my body, and then widened. "You're bleeding," he said softly, finally backing up from me. I looked down and noticed that there was a rivulet of blood still running down my leg.

"It's nothing...it's from earlier...I'll fix it right now," I said awkwardly, hoping he would just leave – and it looked like he was about to, but we were interrupted – just like in my dream.

Elena knocked softly on the partially open bathroom door before hesitantly coming in. "Hey, guys," she said, flicking her eyes over us, "is everything okay in here?" She wasn't just _looking _at us – she _observing _us with those intelligent brown eyes and making a quick read of the atmosphere in the room. She frowned. "Please don't tell me that you've been fighting _again_."

I almost started laughing hysterically. I _wish _we had been fighting. My relationship with Stefan had been permanently damaged since we had met Katherine – and the little spectacle that had just occurred was proof of that. We knew, it seemed, literally _no _boundaries with each other, and that was not a good thing.

"We're fine," Stefan finally. He looked at me for a split second and then turned his gaze back to Elena. "I think we all need to have a very serious conversation."

She furrowed her eyebrows, looking puzzled. "We just had one..."

I shook my head and grabbed Stefan's arm. "I don't want to do this..." I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. God, I had never been weaker in my life. _How_ many times had I cried or been on the verge of crying tonight? This is exactly why I didn't want to _feel _things – emotion dissipated my strength and put me wholly at the mercy of others. Stefan was supposed to be the emotional one – not me.

"_Fidati di me_," Stefan murmured lowly in Italian, briefly touching my arm. "Clean up and get dressed. We'll be in your room." He moved towards Elena and slid his arm around her waist.

"What's going on?" she asked, looking between us. "Is something wrong?"

"There are a few things you don't know about Damon and I," Stefan said gently as he guided her out of the bathroom. "It's time to be honest and you deserve to know..."

I was soon left alone to contemplate my eternal, miserable existence.

* * *

*_Fidati di me _– "Trust me" in Italian


	13. Light

Thank you all so much for your lovely reviews! As a warning (even though I shouldn't have to warn anyone, if you've read this far) things start to escalate in this chapter – so be prepared for **sexual situations **and **incest**. If that's not your cup of tea, you know where the door is. ; )

Happy reading!

* * *

Shadow Dance  
Chapter XIII: Light

_Death is the only thing that makes us alive,__  
__Forcing focus on light that we hold inside._

_We are volcanoes, levels of light.  
__We're bleeding an ocean of permanent life.  
__The blush of our anger could bury the sun,  
__But the pulse of untameable progress has begun._

_Death is the only thing that makes us alive,  
__That brings us to life._

_Wake up, wake up.  
__I think the worst is through…  
__The light that we hold must be buried -  
__Buried to bloom._

-Sleeping At Last, "Levels of Light"

* * *

I dressed slowly; first I reapplied fresh bandages to my body, quietly gasping as the material scraped my tender flesh. I put on new clothes – black boxer-briefs, black jeans, and a black button-up shirt. Next, I brushed my teeth and stood regarding myself in the bathroom mirror. I looked like _hell _– paler than usual with dark circles under my eyes and a few cuts and bruises slicing through the delicate skin of my face. A slight tremor passed through my body as I thought about what waited for me in the next room. I nervously ran a hand through my hair and finally walked into my adjoining bedroom, waves of nausea still crashing over me.

Stefan and Elena were sitting on my bed in silence and I noticed that someone had changed the sheets, pillowcases and blankets. The lights were dim and my room had a calm, welcoming atmosphere to it – but I felt the opposite of relaxed. I didn't know what person I was today, but I was definitely _not _Damon Salvatore. He would not have let this pathetic being become such an emotional wreck.

Stefan nodded towards me and I walked slowly to my bed, unsure of what to do. I stood awkwardly, realizing that I didn't _have _to have this conversation – I could run, but something deep inside was urging me to stay.

"Sit," my brother finally commanded softly, beckoning to Elena's other side.

I sat hesitantly and Elena immediately closed a warm hand around mine, much to my own surprise. She took Stefan's hand, too, and for a moment, we were all connected to each other, sharing the same wave length of energy. I closed my eyes and drifted away briefly, flashes of time when I had been just as vulnerable going through my head in rapid succession.

* * *

_I was kneeling in front of Stefan, gripping each of his bare thighs tightly as Katherine stood behind me, instructing me in a firm, cool voice._

"_You're fine," she cooed, "just think of how I do it to you. Tease him a little at first." She had her hand on my back – I didn't know whether to soothe me, or keep me from going anywhere. Either way, the last way I had expected to spend my evening was learning how to give proper oral pleasure to Stefan._

_I looked up and met Stefan's eyes before hesitantly snaking my tongue out to lick at the tip of his member, and his body jerked immediately in response to the small touch. I began slowly suck at the head, swirling my tongue around, eliciting noises from my brother which I should probably have never heard in my life. His hands came down to thread in my hair, eagerly trying to force my mouth closer._

"_Open your mouth wider, Damon," Katherine said lightly – and I did, taking Stefan further into my mouth. I was taken by surprise when he began to move his hips, though, and his member hit the back of my throat. I found myself gagging, trying to release him, but Katherine held me there. _

"_Relax your throat," she murmured softly. I willed myself to calm down and did just that._

"_That's good, Damon," Stefan whispered huskily, pleasure coating his voice. He gripped my hair tighter and began moving in and out of my mouth faster. I brought one of my hands up to slide over the rest of him, and cupped him with the other one. "I'm so close," he vocalized, closing his eyes._

_I sucked hard, trying to mimic the techniques I knew that I liked whenever Katherine did this to me, and in seconds, Stefan was spilling hotly into my mouth, taking me by surprise. I choked and released him, swallowing some of his seed – the rest came out of the sides of my mouth, creating a small mess._

"_It'll get easier," Katherine said casually, handing me a cloth to clean myself up with._

_I stood up shakily and just as I did, Stefan was pushing me toward the bed, a hand trailing down my cheek. "I shall return the favour," he murmured, sliding his hand into my pants. I groaned softly and let him take control._

* * *

"Elena," Stefan began hesitantly, meeting her gaze directly, "Damon and I were very close in eighteen sixty-four." He looked just as uncomfortable as I felt. His eyes quickly flicked over to mine before resting on hers again. "We were best friends and we did everything together; that is, of course, until Katherine came along and threw a wrench into our friendship."

Elena was gently stroking the back of my hand, tilting her head to the side, eyeing Stefan inquisitively. "I know how much Katherine hurt you two. You didn't deserve such malice."

Stefan swallowed hard and began haltingly, "She often pushed us past our boundaries and we would oblige her because we loved her. Sometimes...I mean, later in our relationship...sometimes it would be the three of us, all together - after Damon and I found out about each other."

A small smile turned up in the corner of Elena's mouth. "Like a threesome?" she asked innocently.

There were certain things I had never expected to hear out of Elena Gilbert's mouth, and that was one of them. How she could sit there and listen to the tale of our shameful past without flinching was truly astounding.

Stefan nodded. "Yes, but..." He looked over to me again, and squeezed Elena's hand tighter. "I guess it wasn't how you would typically picture a threesome involving two siblings. Damon and I often...pleasured _each other_." He choked out the last words, casting his eyes downward.

Elena was quiet, still holding each of our hands in thoughtful silence before responding, "I suppose it was bound to happen at some point or another during your time with Katherine. People can become attracted to each other in an instant – especially in a rapidly escalating sexual environment." She looked up, a frown etching her pretty mouth as she observed Stefan and then me.

"Elena," Stefan began again, "I don't think the problem was entirely the sexuality of it all. It became a problem when we realized that we had developed feelings for each other beyond the realm of brotherhood, and that those feelings went wholly unresolved with the death – or, rather – disappearance of Katherine."

I felt a cold sweat trickle down my back. Stefan was bringing up a lot of things that I hadn't thought about until recently. Did I hate him so much because I knew that I could never have him? Because I loved him so much that it _hurt_? That I knew it was wrong?

"Listen to me – both of you," Elena said quietly, giving each of our hands another squeeze. "You absolutely _cannot_ help who you love. If your feelings for each other transcend those of friendship and touch the planes of romantic love, then I don't care. You both deserve happiness, and if being with each other gives you that, then I won't stand in your way." Her eyes shone with unshed tears. "Besides, can anything really get any stranger than being one-hundred and forty-five year-old undead vampire brothers?" She meant the last part as a joke, but she was clearly upset.

"Elena, darling," Stefan said gently, "I just wanted you to know about our past and why we're so complicated when it comes to each other...and to Katherine. There are still many unanswered questions. But that doesn't change the way I feel about _you_ – not one bit."

I felt like I was eavesdropping on a private conversation now, so I shook my hand loose of Elena's, and planned to go and feed my misery with a bottle of bourbon. My mouth was dry and my head was spinning.

Elena grabbed my wrist as I stood up, though, and held on tightly. "I don't think so," she said softly, but there was an edge behind her voice. "You've barely said two words. You _don't _have to be ashamed, Damon. I'm not going to judge you." Her voice wavered momentarily. "_Please_."

"Please don't, Elena. I don't deserve your acceptance. I don't deserve _anything _from either of you. What I _did _deserve was what happened to me today. I deserved that and so much more for all of the terrible, irredeemable things I've done. Don't you understand? It doesn't matter. I will _always _be a fuck up, so s_top _trying to save me," I said coldly. I yanked my wrist away. "Both of you – get out of my room. I need to be alone. I need to _think_ and I don't want either one of you around.

Elena looked up at me, shocked. "Damon...I just said that I don't _care _about your past. Don't shut me out."

Stefan stood up slowly, turning his green eyes on me. "No," he said firmly. "Why can't I help but feel that you've missed the _entire _point of this conversation, Damon?" He moved close enough until he was seriously invading my personal space. "You need to trust me, brother, and you need to trust Elena."

He reached out, cupping my cheek, and I flinched away. "Don't touch me," I whispered hoarsely, backing up.

"Damon," Stefan said lowly, coming forward, until my back was against the wall. "Don't be frightened of me. Since when have _you _ever been afraid?" He took my face between his hands and then lowered his lips so that they were barely an inch from mine. "You should know by now, after all of the hell that you've put me through, that I will _love _you, no matter what." And then his lips touched mine for the briefest of moments before he pulled away.

I lowered my head so Stefan wouldn't see the weakness spilling out of them.

Elena was watching us in stunned silence, but she slowly stood up and walked over to us. Tilting my chin up with her hand, she said, "Damon, two people in this room love you very much and don't want to see you hurt anymore..." She exhaled softly and wrapped her arms around me. "You're trembling..."

"You _love _me?" I whispered, stunned.

"I _did_ say that I have very strong feelings for you..." Her brown eyes met mine as she gently stroked my back. I could see a wisdom and a maturity in her eyes that I had never seen in my entire existence. "I love you," she murmured softly, confirming my question. "I love you _both_."

"Elena," Stefan said lowly. "Why don't we _show _him how much we love him? I mean...if you want to...and if he wants to." I might have mistaken it, but I thought I saw his eyes flicker briefly over my body.

Elena suddenly blushed, stepping back from me for a moment to regard Stefan. "Like...how it was with you two and Katherine?"

"Except not at all like that," Stefan answered gently, trailing his finger down the side of her face. "Because I know that you actually do love both of us." He reached down and took one of my hands. "Damon, I want to take away your anguish...please, let us do that..."

Body trembling, I slowly nodded my head, wondering if this was just going to be one more thing that I was going to live to regret in my eternal life...


	14. Touch

Thank you for all the kind words, lovely people! :) Only two more chapters left after this one – please read and review! And without further adieu, here's the warm-up...hehehe. :)

Enjoy!

* * *

Shadow Dance  
Chapter XIV: Touch

_I need your touch__  
__Can't get enough__  
__Can't let you get away__  
__Together we fit so perfectly__  
__When you touch me that way__  
__It's more than words can say_

-Wave, "Touch"

* * *

Stefan looked at me softly and then very carefully took my face between his hands; he kissed me gently and slowly, and let one of his hands trail down my chest, until it came to a rest on my hip. He drew me in closer to his solid body, and I found myself welcoming his warmth. I glanced at Elena's wholly curious expression before my eyes slid closed, and I felt his tongue probing against my lips, pleading for access. I gave it to him, opening my mouth, breath freezing in my throat when our tongues touched.

Too soon, he pulled away from my mouth and rested his forehead against mine, looking at me seriously. "Are you sure that you're okay with this? I don't want to push you, Damon."

"I can handle it," I replied softly, before flicking my eyes over to Elena.

She slowly came over to us, grabbing Stefan's wrist and tugging him away from me, and drew him into a long, deep kiss; she kissed him as intimately as if I wasn't there and tilted his head for better access to his mouth. I felt a few sharp pangs of arousal watching them as their passion fed the fire forming in the pit of my stomach.

Elena turned back from Stefan and placed her hand on my face, pulling me close, as her eyes rose up to meet mine. "I love you," she whispered intimately before kissing me gently. I kissed her back, relishing the feel of her soft lips as my cheeks grew warm; I could sense Stefan's eyes on us, watching intently. "Can I touch you?" she murmured as she pulled away to nibble on my ear.

"Y-Yes," I replied, stammering for the first time in my life. I stood still, completely tense as her hand slid slowly and sensually down my chest before hesitating for half a second and coming to rest on the waistband of my jeans. She never broke eye contact with me as she moved her hand further down and let it sit lazily between my thighs. I drew in a sharp breath at the touch, feeling the heat of her hand shoot directly to my flesh. My senses went _wild_.

Stefan leaned close to me and lowered his head, brushing his lips over my neck gently, while Elena continued her ministrations between my legs. I shuddered at the dual sensations, feeling my knees go weak. Both of them were being so careful, so gentle with me – but I was still tense and unsure.

I felt Stefan's tongue touch my collar bone, as his hands carefully began to unbutton my shirt, trailing over my skin as it was exposed. When the last button became undone, he moved his hand down and placed it on top of Elena's, and suddenly, they were both stroking me. I let out a deep groan, grabbing onto Stefan's shoulder to steady myself.

"Relax, Damon," Stefan murmured, sliding his free hand over my chest and stomach. "You're too tense." At this, my hips jerked automatically into their hands, and a tingle of pleasure went up my spine as another sound – this time a gasp – escaped my lips.

They both disentangled themselves from me for a moment, and Elena pulled me closer to the bed. We didn't get far, though, because Stefan finally pushed my shirt off my shoulders, baring my torso. He moved to stand behind me and began rubbing slow circles on my shoulders; I found myself leaning into his gentle touch, sighing softly.

Elena stood in front of me, sliding her palms over my heated chest. She looked up at Stefan for a brief second and I could _feel _their eyes meet. Just as she lowered her mouth to my chest, my brother lowered his to the back of my neck.

I closed my eyes and felt the two of them practically melt into me; Elena's mouth closed over my one of my nipples just as Stefan's blunt teeth carefully scraped along my shoulder. Both were very careful to avoid my bruises and cuts; if they did touch one, they grazed over it gently or placed a soft kiss against it.

Stefan trailed his tongue up my shoulder until he was nibbling on my earlobe again. He sucked on my neck and pressed himself into me from behind – I could feel his hardness against me and I let my head drop back onto his shoulder as he encircled my waist and reached around to stroke me through my jeans again, as Elena continued her slow assault on my nipples.

I whimpered out my pleasure as several of my most sensitive areas were simultaneously stimulated, squeezing my eyes shut, as I tried to hold it together.

"Are you okay?" Stefan whispered, pressing a kiss to my temple.

I nodded, just as Elena came up to kiss my lips again. I reached out to draw her closer to me, sliding my hand up her body, wondering what was acceptable and what was not with her. There were so many unexplored boundaries between the three of us.

"I _want _you to touch me, Damon," she said, murmuring my unspoken thought. "I trust you..." She grabbed my hand and pressed it against her breast, urging me to give attention to them. I obeyed, reaching one hand out to fondle her breasts and the other to slip low between her legs. I felt Stefan rubbing against me from behind and groaned softly.

"Just like that," Elena urged softly as I stroked her through her jeans. I stopped only to help her pull her shirt over her head and then turned around and divested Stefan of his as well, undoing the buttons as quickly as possible. I looked between their two bodies, swallowing hard. Elena's was exactly how I imagined; toned with just the right amount of curves to amplify her femininity and the lacy black bra she wore cupped her breasts perfectly.

I found myself admiring Stefan's body, too – lean and muscled, and a lot like my own, but slightly trimmer. I realized that my eyes were wandering down to the hard, etched lines that formed a V and dipped into his lowly slung jeans.

Stefan suddenly turned me back around and crushed my back to his chest, gripping me tighter as he held me against his body. I unwillingly tensed at the hard hold he had on me, suddenly catapulted into memories of earlier – of Mason touching me like this, trying to dominate me and make me fearful. I usually didn't mind a little bit of roughness in foreplay, bur Stefan's embrace was making me nauseous.

He must have felt my reaction because he loosened his hold and brought one hand up to stroke my cheek. "I'm sorry, Damon," he murmured against my ear, "I didn't mean to be so rough. We'll go slow..."

I was shaken up, out of character, and so completely unlike myself. I tried to flick the switch in my head, but it was on the permanent 'on' position. I grit my teeth. There was nothing I hated more than weakness, and Mason and Katherine had done a fine job of exposing mine tonight. I didn't enjoy being so submissive – especially to my younger brother and to Elena. _I _should be taking care of them, protecting them. Stefan shouldn't have to say things like 'we'll go slow.' I should want it _hard _and_ fast _and _rough_.

"No," Stefan said stroking my shoulder lazily, snapping me out of my reverie. "You used to be sweet and gentle; a little mischievous and a bit snarky, but never malicious." It was like he was reading my thoughts. I was glad he couldn't see my face – but Elena could. "Katherine brought out the dark side in you – and, I suppose I did, too. I'm sorry, Damon. I'll make it up to you, somehow..." He exhaled softly against my neck.

Elena pressed herself closer to me, pressing her lips to my jaw. "I'll never be able to undo or take away all of your pain, but that doesn't mean I won't try," she murmured, placing a gentle kiss on my lips. The girl in front of me always surprised me with the amount of strength and understanding that she had hidden away.

Stefan continued to hold me from behind, his arms around my waist, as I carefully brought my hands up to touch Elena's skin, skimming it softly with my fingertips, licking my lips as I took her in and appreciated her divine beauty.

Never had I wanted something so much, and never had it been simply offered to me without a catch...


End file.
